


Resignation

by Firalyx



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 08:19:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12104580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firalyx/pseuds/Firalyx





	Resignation

I thought things would be better when he came back. It had been so long since I'd seen him last - ten goddamn years.

 

Ten years of feeling his presence.

 

Ten years of waking up in a cold sweat to use the armiger just to make sure he was still ALIVE.

 

Ten years of loneliness.

 

Ten years of repeating memories inside of my head with him. Of sparring. Of late night talks. Of the last time we fucked. The last time we made love. The last argument we had and how we made up. The last smile I saw...

 

If it wasn't obvious to anyone reading this that Noctis and I were together, well...surprise. And maybe pay attention a little more. It's only natural for a king and his shield to be so close...

 

So close. Close. It's only natural. A shield without his king is no shield at all. And yet here I am. A shield. With no purpose.

 

The last time I had purpose was three years, 1 month and twenty-one days ago when Noctis had returned from the crystal. Fuck me, I can't even begin to tell you what I was feeling when I got the call from Talcott.

 

I remember though that I was talking to Reed, one the daemon slayers that Iris worked closely with. He usually stopped by for supplies - both drop off and pick up - and to give an update on Iris. Sure, we'd call each other at least once or twice a week but I needed someone to tell me if she was really ok or if she was just suppressing everything.

 

Should have known that would never be the case with her; Iris has always been strong and quick to say what was on her mind. I suppose if I look back on it, I was just looking for someone to protect while Noctis was gone.

 

Anyway, I thought Talcott may have gotten himself into some shit when I picked up, but what he said just put me in a tailspin. I wasn't ready for that. And I wasn't ready to hear his voice in the background - still a little fucking brat giving attitude when I had asked to talk to him.

 

It made me smile for the first time in months since watching Ignis cook blind. Which is a marvel, by the way. Ignis, you're the strongest man I've ever known. I know I've told you this before but if there was anyone I would trust my whole life with other than myself, it would be you. I'm so proud to have fought alongside you.

 

Sorry, I keep switching around so much. There's just a lot I need to get down and let out.

 

After I got the call from Talcott, I'm pretty sure I threw up or was damn near close to it. What would I say to him after all this time? Would it be the same? Would we still be... something? A thing? Together? I had every thought in the world, some more pure then others I'll admit but I couldn't stop thinking about him.

 

Until I saw him and my mind went blank. Noctis. My king. He'd grown to be so regal and strong. The facial hair suited him as did the fine wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. It took me a moment to realize that he was still wearing his fatigues and the memories of that moment we lost him to the crystal, followed by every moment before, came flooding back in my mind.

 

There was a smile Noct had always reserved for me. It was barely there but it was always punctuated with soft eyes. When I saw it again that night my purpose had returned, new life bloomed inside of me.

 

Then he said, "hey."

 

I shoved him for that, really just was so desperate to make sure he wasn't some figment of my imagination. When I touched him, my whole body was set aflame and all I wanted to do was resume where we had left off all those years ago.

 

I didn't get him alone until later, much later. After the three of us had brought him up to speed on the current situation and what we'd all been up to. When our voices had died down, Prompto looked at Noctis, sharing their own private look that, admittedly, made me a little jealous.

 

It wasn't until Prompto stood and dragged Ignis to the diner to make dinner that I understood what that look was for.

 

'.

.'

.

'.

 

It was quiet for the longest time. Maybe the both of us were trying to figure out what to say. What DO you say after years apart from your liege? To the one you'd pledged your life for? To the one that you loved?

 

Noctis spoke first - 'How've you been?'

 

I could have answered that a multitude of ways. Miserable, anxious, lonely, sad, angry. I just gave him a generic 'been okay'. We chit-chatted after that, mainly about small things - how was Iris? Were the guys okay, so on and so forth. I'm not sure how long we were talking for but it seemed like another 10 years had passed when he suggested we go inside the camper and that it was getting cold.

 

And as fast as he had said it, his hand was on mine, giving me that same squeeze that he would after dinner around the campfire, orange flickering in his eyes and then a soft, 'Gladio.'

 

But this time, there was more to it. 'If... you still feel the same.'

 

How could he? How could he think that I'd move on from him while not knowing if he was dead or alive? How could he think that? The raw anger that pumped through me for all of a couple seconds almost made me pull away. But I didn't. I COULDN'T. I knew he didn't mean it that way.

 

'Of course I do.' I told him and without another word I followed. I'd follow him anywhere; I would then and I would follow him now.

 

The moment the camper door closed, we kissed and that flame from his touch turned to wildfire. It was feral. Angry. Passionate. Desperate. Needy. Longing. He told me he missed me. I told him I missed him too and kissed every word against his throat.

 

It was then I realized that words weren't enough for us. When we were outside, it was so difficult to say anything because there just weren't any words for what we felt.

 

I'll spare you the details. Not because I'm bashful but... for Noct. I don't think he would have wanted me to share it. Especially not the things we said to each other during our reunion. They're personal and I'm taking them with me to my grave.

 

Afterwards though, that's when he first told me. He waited until our breathing evened out and all that was left were questions of... what now? What happens next? And he looked at me and he said, 'Gladio. I'm going to bring the light back.'

 

And I just remember saying 'WE. WE are going to bring the light back.'

 

He just looked at me with such a certainty that I had never seen in him before. He shook his head and put his hand in mine. 'Only I can do this.'

 

I told him that I'd fight by his side. That I wasn't going to leave him because I couldn't. I CAN'T. I'm his SHIELD. I was born and bred for this moment.

. '. '

'..

. '. '

 

And he said to me - no he _ordered_ me - that when the time came, I would let him go. That I wouldn't interfere. That I would let him fulfill his destiny.

 

I was so angry. And hurt. And... I had just gotten him back only to find out that I was losing him again. For good. Forever.

 

There was crying that night. On both sides. Maybe mainly from me. Just trying to find another way to end this without having him sacrifice himself.

 

'Have the Six take me instead' I had offered.

 

'The Six don't want you. They want me.'

 

I'm certain it was right then I snarled that the Six could suck my dick.

 

Pretty sure any chances I had of them taking me instead had been shot after that.

 

We stayed up talking all night - mostly me trying to reason with him and deal with the feelings crashing inside of me in waves. Noctis had to die and I had to stand by and watch.

 

But I didn't watch. The last memory I have was falling to the ground, Ardyn putting the three of us down so that he could fight uninterrupted. Fucking coward. Thinking about it now though, I'm so proud of Noctis. He'd done it alone like we knew he could. Like I knew he could.

 

The next time I saw Noctis, he was dead. Slumped on that Gods forsaken throne with the Sword of the Father lodged in his chest.

 

I was the one to pull it out. I was the one that handed it to Ignis to hold. I was the one that lifted Noctis from the throne. I didn't cry. I didn't say a word and nor did anyone else. At least not until the sun began to rise.

 

'He's still with us' Prompto had said. I know he was referring to the sunlight. It was a nice sentiment.

 

But I mentally cursed the sun. I hated it. I hated the daylight. I hated the warmth. I hated everything that took him away from me - that took my purpose away.

 

The three of us stood there for so long that my legs started to go numb. I didn't care. I just stared at Noctis, his blood all over me, willing him to come back.

 

Everything from that moment on was a haze. The rebuilding of Lucis, Altissia, and Galahd. The procurement of Niflheim. Prompto being knighted and given a role within the royal cabinet. Other things I can't, or don't care, to remember. All of it under the rule of one King Ignis Scientia.

 

'I won't ask you to be my shield.' He had told me when he was crowned. 'As close as we are, I know where your heart and loyalties truly lie.'

 

I couldn't argue with him; I knew he was right. I'm sure I could have convinced him otherwise. I'm sure I could have found it within me to become his shield.

 

But he is not who I swore an oath to. Ignis was not the one I was born to protect. And although I will always respect Ignis and refer to him as such, the reality was that he wasn't the king I wanted, nor was destined, to serve.

 

My king was dead and I am now a shield without purpose. I have failed my legacy. Even worse... I'm a man with no one to love. I can't learn to love again. I won't learn. I'm loyal to a fault and I have always been told this. But it is who I am.

 

Since the day I lost Noctis, I've hidden in darkness. My thoughts are dark. My heart is heavy. My will is gone. Life moves on around me but I'm stuck in that moment amongst the ruins of the citadel with Noctis in my arms. My mind is a prison of memories of Noctis and I fucking, making love, exchanging breathless 'I love you's'. Everyday I struggle to open my eyes. It's too bright. My body aches. I don't eat. I'm tired of trying to cry. I'm tired.

 

I hope you understand now. I hope that this all makes sense. I hope you know now where I need to be. If Iris asks, tell her I died for my king; she'll understand.

 

Prompto, I know you'll serve Ignis well. Be the shield to him that I couldn't be.

 

Ignis, I have no doubt that Lucis will be safe and peaceful in your hands. I have but one last thing to ask of you - please lay me to rest next to Noctis. You and I both know this is where I belong.

 

Thank you.

 

Ever grateful,

_ Gladiolus Amicitia _


End file.
